When looking at the exterior of a geode we may pass it over as not worthy of our attention or interest. It may look ordinary, boring, or plain. For rock enthusiasts, finding a geode is an exciting thing for they know the beauty that lies within and that each one is unique. This is applicable to people. We live in a culture that is very much focused on the outward self and appearance and the way we present ourselves and our lives to the world. The pressure to fit a certain ideal can be extremely difficult and is sometimes impossible to achieve and/or maintain for a long period of time.
What if we started to focus on what was within ourselves? What if we started to explore who we are, what we like, and why we believe what we do. What if we explored our needs, our values, and what makes us feel connected to others in a positive and human way? Each of us has innate worth and strengths, gifts, and things to offer the world. These are not exclusive to only a few. Sometimes accepting what makes us unique is scary because it may mean we begin to speak up or let go of beliefs or other people that limit us. We may have to step out of our comfort zone and have courage to be who we are. Like the geode, there is likely undiscovered creativity, talents, and strength within us waiting to be liberated and embraced.
Here are some suggestions that may encourage learning and understanding more about yourself:
- Self-awareness. Be curious about your internal world. What you feel and think. Do this without judging yourself. All feelings are valid and it is okay to feel them even when they are not pleasant. By acknowledging them, without judgment, you will be able to increase self-acceptance and understanding.
- Notice your self-talk. What are you saying to yourself when you look in the mirror, or make a mistake? Are the words positive or negative? Are you saying things to yourself that would never dream of saying to your worst enemy? If you notice you are being critical and hard on yourself see if you can practice some self-compassion.
- Take action. When we take action towards a goal or take a step towards improving our life and happiness it can reduce anxiety and fear. What can you do today to make a positive and healthy improvement in your life? (Maybe it will be practicing more self-compassion).
- Know your limits. If there are some deep-rooted beliefs or experiences that are getting in the way of happiness and well-being it may be time to seek support from a professional. They will be able to help you explore these obstacles and find solutions.
Here are some of my favorite books for developing a more positive relationship with yourself:
- “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown is a great book for those who are struggling to find their worth. She talks about perfectionism and how it robs us of connecting to ourselves and others. She offers the 10 guideposts of wholehearted living. Great and easy read.
- “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis. She talks about ways to stop believing the lies about who you are and how to connect and become who you are meant to be. This is also easy to read and holds many gems for personal growth and self-acceptance.
Both of these are great books and have made a difference for many people that I know.
